dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
