Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
