need another drink. this is the easiest way
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
