hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
