apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
