So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize