i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize