does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
