In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I puked a lego.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
