What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
the day after is always just damage control
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
