why didn't you poke me back
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize