oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
