She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
