What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize
