last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
