She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
