i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
