You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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