I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
