where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
