Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
