There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
