At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
