Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
