I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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