just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
