Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
