My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
