I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
