We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
