No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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