Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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