the new term for farting is butt boxing.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
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