were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
