So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
