So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
so that wasnt chicken after all
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
