how can u be prego again
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
