youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
