Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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