so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
