is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize