bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
