I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
