Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
