Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
