it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
