ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize