by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
