He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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