I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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