i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
