Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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