I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
