i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
