you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
