so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
