I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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