oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
