In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Holy shit dude........stairs
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
