She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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