So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I need a burrito and a hug.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
