yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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